One morning a few years ago I came to the realisation that one of the many things Jesus modeled for us is what true friendship looks like through the relationship He had with His disciples. As I studied the relationship Jesus had with his disciples, I picked up 4 questions, which I believe are essential to ask in any friendship.
- In Times Of Adversity Is The Person There For You?
Mark 4:35-39 Jesus Calms
As evening came, Jesus said to his disciples, “Let’s cross to the other side of the lake.” So they took Jesus in the boat and started out, leaving the crowds behind (although other boats followed). But soon a fierce storm came up. High waves were breaking into the boat, and it began to fill with water. Jesus was sleeping at the back of the boat with His head on a cushion. The disciples woke him up, shouting, “Teacher, don’t you care that we’re going to drown?” When Jesus woke up, He rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Silence! Be still!” Suddenly the wind stopped, and there was a great calm.
There was a terrible storm going on that night and the disciples were in a difficult place. Jesus was asleep, it could be that He was tired but the moment the disciples reached out to Him in their time of adversity, Jesus got up and rebuked the storm. He was there for them in their difficult time. Is the person there for you in difficult times? Can you count on them to rebuke the storms in your life when you are afraid and cannot even pray for yourself? Storms reveal who is who in your life. The fake friends are nowhere to be found in times of trouble yet the real ones can tell your story better than you because they were always there.
- Does The Person Make Time For You?
Luke 18:31 Taking the twelve disciples aside, Jesus said, “Listen, we’re going up to Jerusalem, where all the predictions of the prophets concerning the Son of Man will come true. Luke 9:28-31 Eight days later Jesus took Peter, John, and James up on a mountain to pray. And as He was praying, the appearance of his face was transformed, and his clothes became dazzling white. Suddenly, two men, Moses and Elijah, appeared and began talking with Jesus. They were glorious to see. And they were speaking about his exodus from this world, which was about to be fulfilled in Jerusalem.
In the busyness of Jesus’ ministry he still made time for His disciples. At the transfiguration in Luke 9, Jesus took only 3 out of the 12 disciples with Him to an important thing that was about to happen. It has often being said that Peter, James and John were Jesus’ favourite disciples and if that was the case, this is an excellent example of true friendship. That is, even out of the 12 disciples He had, Jesus still found time; He made time for these three. Does the person make time for you? You see there is no greater truth than this “people make time for what’s important to them.” No matter how busy or hectic a person’s life is, a real friend will always make time for you.
- Is The Person Consistent?
Mark 6:1Jesus left there and went to His hometown, accompanied by His disciples.
Jesus went everywhere with His disciples. Throughout the first 4 books of the New Testament of the Bible, we see how Jesus travelled with His disciples. He always travelled with His disciples; He did not exclude them from anything. That shows consistency. Is the person consistent? Is the person only there when things are good but disappear when the tough times occur? Consistency is of the main indicators of a good friendship.
- Do You Know Where You Stand With The Person?
John 13:21 Now Jesus was deeply troubled, and He exclaimed, “I tell you the truth; one of you will betray me!”
In addition to Jesus walking with His disciples, He did life with them; He knew where He stood with them. He knew one of them was going to betray Him. Such that when the betrayal took place, He was prepared for it. Do you know where you stand with the person? You see you don’t ever want to make assumptions about where you stand with people because that only leads to disappointment. Always be clear about where you stand with people. Never make anyone a priority who makes you an option, go where you are celebrated not tolerated.
