If I had a dollar for the number of times I thought God was going to take me out of a situation just because I had asked Him to I would be pretty wealthy by now but I would also be as weak as I was when I started out. More than the pain and discomfort of being moulded what I can feel now after the process, is the strength and wisdom I have acquired from the experience.
I still have bad days just like anyone else and I too find myself ready to throw in the towel when it’s extra hard, but I don’t and I guess that tells me that wanting to is part of the process as well. I thought that sending up my prayer was the equivalent of dialling 911 and it would just be a matter of waiting for the cavalry to show up in a chopper, bright lights in the background and big guys with guns to deal with the threat and lead me to guaranteed safety.
Unfortunately as I learned, life is less like that movie scene and more like our greatest fears coming to pass try as we may to avoid them. It’s like an experiment whose outcome constantly changes even when we apply the same conditions and use the same stimuli. The only thing that can help us to make sense of it all or at least deal with our lack of control over it is surrendering to God.
It is well
Living is messy, beautiful, tiring and riveting all at the same time and we don’t always have access to our better judgement or get to sail through without a scratch. The reality is that we will fall to the ground, lose ourselves and each other along with teeth, limbs and dignity all in the walk to being our best selves but in those moments we also discover the resilience that teaches us to praise God because He surely is good.
They also teach us that the wellness of it is not found in how perfectly it aligns to our expectations, but in the fact that at any given moment there are still more things to be grateful for than things to mourn the loss of. It’s a very basic way of looking at it but as a designer I’m starting to find that a simple approach to a design can still capture the complexities of style. Less really is more and going back to these basics allows you to connect to the value attached to your life by virtue of being here today whether everything is going according to plan or not.
Managing expectation and disappointment
There are no guarantees in life and a lot of times we are going to find ourselves feeling bad for mistakes we’ve made or making amends for offenses we’ve committed both to ourselves and those we care about. The hopeful expectation is that when we pray over jobs, health, marriages and other issues they are protected and made immune to the myriad of things that could go wrong.
Sadly our prayers are not always answered the way we would want them to and it’s hard to take comfort in knowing that all things come together for the good of those who love and entrust their vulnerabilities to Him. One thing that amazes me about God though, is that He is realistic and His ways are not like ours, He deals in mysteries that always lead us to emerge better than when we started regardless of how serious what we go through is.
He never said He wanted robots that are always charged up on faith, ready to blast out bible verses to the lost, robots able to recite hours worth of lip service to His name ignoring the pain of the issues they would be dealing with while keeping surgically detached from the world to show His gospel of perfectionism. He said come to me all who are weak and heavy laden and I will give you rest.
He reminded some eager stone throwers not to be so hasty to overlook their own sins to castigate another for theirs. He came that we may have life and have it more abundantly and that means being able to enjoy the sun in the sky, enjoying the sound of the rain when it trickles down the sides of our windows, enjoying the time we spend with each other and our families whether we have nice things or not. Whether it looks like that million dollar deal will come through or not and whether the cancer is cured or not.
My prayer today is for the reminder to keep going to Him like the children we are, to keep bearing our souls and vulnerabilities to the only one who would never consciously use them against us. That no matter how much better we’ve become at speeding up we can slow down and take it all in and be warmed by the gift of our existence..Amen
