I was so whipped that for the longest time after the ill-fated love affair lost its flair I was still holding on, hoping that we could relive those epic moments we had shared. In many ways I was sort of stuck in a time bubble, always defaulting to the happy moments of 2002 when I first truly fell in love. Of course I didn’t want to reflect on why the relationship failed in the first place, what I needed was a fix of the good stuff.
So as the years went by no man could compare to Him and as such no man ever got the chance to because the moment it started to get serious an alarm would go off to remind me that I had a cosmic alignment to be part of. As you can imagine something was always found wrong with the new guy and relationship after relationship ended mysteriously while I waited on the love of my life to come back to me. Needless to say I was responsible for some broken hearts even though I always sang the loudest broken heart song and wore a chip on my shoulder about it.
The Post mortem
One year I learnt about soul ties and it almost started to make sense why not one single relationship worked out, I mean there were the obvious destined to fail ones and the “what the heck was I thinking” ones and also the “oh well why not” ones but no matter who I went out with my heart was just not available. I thought it was a sign that we were really meant to be and I even used to visualise the day that would land us together in the future. Guess it hadn’t clicked yet that dots can only be connected going backwards and not forwards.
I also hadn’t learnt that dot connection is done from a place of reflection to learn from previous mistakes. Trying to project the dots is exactly why a chunk of Christians have started living by bread alone and not the words of truth. They hop from Church to Church trying to see where they can strike gold to live lavishly and never have to worry about what it actually takes to live a fulfilling life. They seldom seek God but always put their best foot forward to seek the man of God.
For me to bring this up means that I have been there, done that, bought the anointing oil and called the man Papa. I thought that I could buy my way out of the consequences of a soul tie I had stumbled into unwittingly. So I did every religious thing I could think of and started to feel better but the reality was that it wasn’t time yet for me to learn the lesson it was meant to teach me.
I was single and available but not that kind of available, it seemed I could only maybe take the Him off my mind for a bit though I still never could avail my heart, even when I thought I had.
*Relationships 101:- never hold onto an ex and think that you will ever successfully move on. You may settle for second best but trust me you’re in for some damage causing self-deception as well as emotional damage to your back-up plan.
No matter what spiritual weirdness you may encounter the only solution is found in seeking God. A quality seeking of his true nature because he is the best equipped fighter of our battles seeing what is to come and how it fits in the grand scope of things whereas we don’t. In fact sometimes we throw spanners into the works by trying to be our own heroes. We forget that some of these trials and tribulations are there lest we say that we overcame by our own strength.
The thing about God is that he puts things in clear vision and puts all thoughts and emotions in perspective by the instructions filled in the bible. The difference is whether we are willing to exchange our own pride, fears and insecurities for his salvation, provision and perfect peace which surpasses understanding. If I’m speaking to someone stuck in a soul tie today my advice for you is to make a choice whether you want to make friends with your prison cell or you want to be free.
Its not something to be ashamed of because not one single person who has ever walked this earth can cast the first stone and the only person who could even cast that stone isn’t interested in hurting you. He wants you to lay your burdens at his feet and let go of all that makes you weak and heavy laden. He wants to show you a different style of life filled with abundance and the fullness of joy which only comes in his presence.
