“Manheru Mama, what is it?”
Her mother has her “I know better” look on. She doesn’t even respond to Kupa’s greeting. At least Kupa now knows that her grandmother can be hot one minute and cold the next; Sekuru’s death surely hasn’t changed that.
Tanya wonders what has her mother in a tiff. She gives her bags to Kupa and sits down next to her mother.
“Mhamha, what is it?”
“Saka iwewe have I taught you nothing? Has my life not taught you anything?!”
Tanya is shocked at her mother’s tone. She has no idea what has warranted this outburst.
“You going back to work is not the right thing Tanya. You have children now..”
Tanya chuckles and is about to respond comically but she realises that her mother is not joking.
“I’m going back to work because we need the money Mama.”
“That is nonsense,Tanya. I slaved away for my family. I was never around for my child. I went in and out of the country just to put bread on the table and you know what happened? Of course you do! Your father resented me for it, he beat me up for it. That man almost killed me for doing what he could not do! Is that what you want your husband to do? Hate you?”
Tanya sees that her mother is visibly upset. She can’t quite grasp why. Somehow her decision to go back to work has triggered something in Mhamha.
“Mhamha calm down…”
“Don’t tell me to calm down Tanya! Your father almost killed me because I could do what he failed to do. All he did was drink!I slaved away trying to make ends meet and what did I get for it? He couldn’t kill me but he succeeded in killing my sister!”
She starts sobbing. Tanya is shocked. She knew Mhamha was still grieving but she didn’t expect this outburst. The fact that she would mention Mainini now shows how much she has not made peace with Baba’s death. She has never mentioned Mainini ever since she died.
She sits next to her mother and waits for her to calm down. They have never been able to express their love for each other physically so she doesn’t hug her.
‘Mhamha, BaKupa is not like that. He would never lay a hand on me. He would never hold my job against me. Dylan is not Baba…”
Mhamha stops sobbing.
“I have wanted to talk to you about this Mhamha. I know you’re grieving and I also know there is so much that has happened in our lives. We need to talk to someone..”
“Unorevei Tanya? Talk to who?”
“We need therapy Mhamha. What we went through as a family is not normal and it’s not healthy. We need help. I wanted Baba to go with us as well but it’s too late now.”
Mhamha looks at her frustratedly,
“Zvinobatsirei zvekutaura izvozvo Tanya?Heee? How will it help? Will it make my life better? Will it bring my sister back?!”
Tanya sees how much her mother is hurting. She sees how much her father’s death has opened old wounds. She’s been praying to God for wisdom on how to bring this up with her mother. She makes another silent prayer for her mother to hear her.
“We need to heal. Ndave nevana Mhamha,I don’t need them growing up with the toxicity being passed down to them. Zvakaitika zvakaitika,we can’t change the past. But we can change how it affects us. We can change how we live our lives. So you want your grandchildren to grow up thinking you are a bitter old woman? Not being able to talk to you? We need to heal and I’m asking you to do it with me..”
Mhamha pauses,sighs as if she’s given up on life. Her eyes show understanding and nervousness as well. She looks as if she’s about to protest again but changes her mind.
“I have heard you Tanya. But what you’re asking is hard. I can’t talk about it,zvinorema…”
“Think on it for a few days Mhamha, please. Tozotaura futi,is that ok?”
Her mother nods and Tanya feels some relief. It’s not a done deal but it’s a start. Her mother has a lot of walls to tear down. Tanya smiles to herself; prayer works, everytime.
She stands up to make her way to her bedroom to change and sees Kupa shuffle away. She’s been eavesdropping. Tanya doesn’t know if she should be angry at her or if she should go talk to her. She decides against either. Kupa will come when she’s ready to ask. Some things you can’t easily tell a 15 year old.
Kupa rushes off to her room. She’s not sure if her mother spotted her. She waits to hear footsteps coming after her but there are none.
She sits on her bed and realises her mother is not coming. Not that she looked forward to that conversation. However, she does understand now why Gogo is the way she is. Her life hasn’t been great. She doesn’t know if Sekuru really killed her sister but she knows now how that has also affected her mother’s life. A lot has become clearer and she decides if her mother approaches her,she will tell her about how she almost got raped…
