CHAPTER 9: He wants to make it work
‘God give me wisdom, bridle my tongue.’ I do not move when I finish my silent prayer. I wait for Dee to get into the room , I pretend to concentrate on my laptop when he comes in.
‘Hi babe’, his use of a pet name throws me off. ‘Hi, how are you?’
‘I’m alright, let me freshen up,’ he says as he heads for the bathroom.
I notice that he has a different shirt from the one he had on yesterday. The thirty minutes he spends in the bathroom are the longest, finally he comes out.
‘Did you go to work?’ He asks from under his drying towel, he is doubled over drying his head. ‘Oh my husband was missing, not sure how wives of MIA husbands are supposed to act’, I almost say this aloud but instead settle for a soft ‘no’.
‘Tanya I’m sorry I didn’t come back, I thought I would, we had a crisis, a lot of money was seemingly not in the books. I got really busy and only realized when it was hours past midnight. I fell asleep in the office.’
I don’t know if I should believe him.
‘Where did you get the shirt?’ I choose a non accusatory approach to open the investigation session.
‘It’s Tavonga’s, I went to his place and took a bath, it was easier than driving all the way to here.’
I remain silent.
‘Say something, are you okay? You can call whoever you want to check out my story’.
He sounds sincere. I was expecting an argument , tears, an exchange of words, shouting even , not tonight apparently.
‘It’s alright Dee, I waited for you because I thought we could have a proper talk about stuff and all, I cooked madora.’
‘I am sorry!’
There is a dramatic pause between each word, the way a hammer forces in a nail.
‘Have you had time to think on what I told you?’ I ask him, not wanting us to sleep without addressing the elephant in the room.
He groans, ‘Do we need…’ ‘Yes!’, I almost scream, cutting him off, ‘we need to talk about this Dylan, you need to talk to me, tell me , your wife, what you’re thinking.’
I am pleased that I sound firm, no backing down.He is standing on the dresser, arms folded, a position that suggests he would rather be left alone. He shuffles his feet, I do not move an inch.
‘So the abortion damaged your womb?’ I exhale sharply, realizing I had been holding my breath.
‘The gynea thinks so.’ I say, looking directly into his eyes, searching for something, anything that will give away what he is really thinking.
‘I want a second and third opinion, I want to know if there is another way around this, if you’re going to involve doctors, we do this right Tanya. We will see another specialist.’
‘Dylan, what else do you think is preventing me from falling pregnant, obviously there’s something wrong with my womb, it’s obvious.’
‘I don’t care,’ he almost shouts, ‘I want to hear from someone else, maybe it can be fixed. I will book appointments myself.’
This signifies the end of the conversation for him, he moves from the dresser, picks up a cardigan from the closet, takes his laptop and leaves the room.
In frustration I hurl a pillow at the wall, I feel a lot of pent up emotions that Dylan never allows me to let out. I curl up in the blankets, a lot going through my mind.
I decide to call my Pastor during lunch the following day, surely it’s a Godly hour that his wife won’t object to.
He picks up on the second ring, ‘Mai Tembo Moyo!’ Unlike every one else, he uses both Dee’s surnames, he probably doesn’t want to offend Dylan.
‘How are you Pastor? How is everyone at home? I try to sound cheerful.
‘ We are alright Mai Tembo Moyo, God is keeping us well. I am happy to hear from you.’
‘I was hoping that I can come see you when you’re free Pastor.’
I hear the sound of pages being flipped in the background. Knowing how organized he is, he wants to check his diary before giving an answer.
‘No problem at all,’ he says after a few seconds, I can see you anytime after 4pm today, I will still be at the office.
I smile ‘Thank you Pastor, I will see you as soon as I get off work.’
After I cut the call, my phone rings, it’s Dylan.
‘Where are you?’ is the first thing he says.
‘I am at work Dylan.’
‘I got an appointment with a gynecologist at 4.30pm, he is really good, I had to pull strings to get an appointment.’
I am sure I make a face as I respond ‘I can’t make 4.30pm today Dee, I need to see the Pastor’.
‘What for?’ He doesn’t sound impressed.
‘I said I would see him a long time ago, I can’t cancel, I have to see him at 4pm.’
‘Good, the gynea is not far from Pastor’s office, we will go together, see him for a few and catch our appointment.’
I fail to see a way out, I agree.
