Chapter 4: Desperate for validation
Her father peeps out from inside, his face disappears when he sees her car. Seconds later, the sound of steel against concrete signals the gate opening. She starts the car and proceeds to park inside. Her father slowly closes the gate, he looks like he is struggling to close shut the seemingly light steel.
The kids are out first. They still buzz with the excitement of owning an entire family unit, complete with grandparents. Tanya is not sure how her father feels about her family, he hasn’t said much. On the day that they told their parents about the decision to adopt, Tanya and Dylan had not received much of a reaction from the old man.
‘You know what is best for you’, had been his only words.
Tanya’s mother on the other hand…she had a completely different reaction.
‘How are you doing Baba?’, Tanya asks as she approaches her father who looks awkward trying to entertain the kids.
‘I’m well, I’m well. How is home?’
‘It’s alright, how are your legs? Mhama said the new doctor seemed to know his craft.’
All they ever talk about is his health, that or updates on what bill is outstanding. Tanya’s mother seems to always know more about what bill has gone up and which service provider will give how much of a discount with the right bargaining.
He goes on to give his daughter a very brief account of his last doctor’s visit while they walk into the house. Tanya sees movement on the kitchen window but when they get in, her mother is not in there, she doesn’t ask. Kupakwashe and Tadiwa sit on the edge of the couch, waiting for the minute they can go outside without being disrespectful.
Sekuru sits on the seat that is farthest from Tanya, he makes small talk with the kids about school. A few minutes pass, his wife’s absence is becoming uncomfortable. He looks at Tanya when he is all out of small talk, their eyes meet and she can see the agony in his. Tanya gets up to go look for Mhama. She find her sprawled on her bed, she looks like someone deep in sleep, only Tanya knows she is not.
‘One day we will have to talk Mhama about this, you can’t avoid it forever.’
There is acknowledgement of Tanya’s presence from her, she leaves the room, holding back tears that are burning her eyes. When she get back, Sekuru has prepared potato crisps and drinks. Her heart is constricted as she picks a potato chip that she doesn’t have an appetite for.
***
‘Hey babe!’
Dylan shouts from the kitchen later that evening as he gets in. Tanya is in the dining room, trying to get some work done. It is past 8.00pm, Tadiwa is sleeping, Kupa is probably reading a novel in her bed. She reads a lot.
‘Hi’, She say, giving him her cheek.
‘How was your day?’ ,he asks, removing his tie with such urgency you would swear he was choking. Dylan hates wearing ties, he really just doesn’t care to look good at the expense of comfort, sometimes he has no choice.
‘I passed through Kuwadzana.’ That is enough to tell him if it was a good day or not.
There is concern on Dylan’s face, he is not sure of how to respond.
‘Was Mhama there?’, he asks carefully.
‘Yes, she pretended to sleep the whole time.’
Dylan’s shoulders sag, as if an invisible load has just been dumped on him.
‘I’m sorry Mai Kupa, she will come around,’ his voice sounds alien to him.
For a moment Tanya smiles, where other wives take offense at being referred to as ‘Mai whoever’, the preference is different in this home.
Tanya is desperate for validation as a mother, she would rather be Amai Kupa than babe, a mother rather than a wife. Pastor Ben, would of course, display and express great concern if he ever caught wind of this. To him, this would be a red flag as far as healing for their marriage goes, as always, he would be right. As right as he was for having reservations about the couples decision and intentions to adopt before they were ready,well so he felt. For Dylan and Tanya, it seemed Romans 5 : 3 – 5 was written for them.
Romans 5:3-5 KJV
[3] And not only so , but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; [4] And patience, experience; and experience, hope: [5] And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
