Everyone needs a mother; a source of fierce love who doesn’t let anyone mess with her baby, someone who sacrifices herself for the sake of her child, a loyal fan who cheers for her little star, has ready arms to run into, sometimes causes but also wipes away inevitable tears and uses her gentle but firm hands to bandage the hurts and kiss the pains away.
Though romanticised in many ways the story of motherhood is not always as beautiful as the poems or songs to Mama that will flood the media on that one day a year set aside for these pillars of strength. The essence of motherhood lies in it being a quality or condition that gives rise to another, be it through birth, adoption, nurturing, mentoring or simply counselling in difficult times.
Mother: An extension of Godly purpose
Without one there would be no bio-logical explanation for your existence here in this earth so it only stands to reason that God purposefully created the tree from which you have become fruit. A tree with the same genetic leaves that are sufficiently unique to allow the writing of your own genetic poetry and still be traceable to these original roots. Though the cost of birthing is high she is groomed by her mother before her how to pay the taxman called experience, how to extend a nurturing hand and tender loving grace while giving of her substance in raising the seeds of tomorrow.
A mother is a being qualified by a womb of endless possibilities and this womb is not restricted to race, biology or femininity. There are biological mothers, adoptive mothers, surrogate mothers, single mothers, grandmothers, god mothers, fairy god mothers, in our culture small mothers (anamainini) and big mothers (anamaiguru), widowers, single fathers and child headed families. All these incorporate the essence of motherhood.
A mother is an imperfect soul, probably less perfect than any other because her labour pains endure for a life time. She must carry the load of a life within her, she must bear the brunt both emotionally and literally. Though she has love, we all know that this is not enough, because she is constantly taken for granted.
We project these images in our hearts of a perfect person whose strength in character, stature and style should remain flawless even as pressure mounts from all sides. We rebel against her because she is “too fussy”, “doesn’t understand us” and “doesn’t want to hear our side of the story before she grabs the belt”. We reject her when we get to the top because her scraggly old self no longer fits into the image of a successful person’s mother, yet it was through her selflessness that we ever managed to make it.
Many times she has become a mother not by her own desire but by the desires of another who did not consider her innocence. Sometimes she has come to be a mother by naive experimentation seeking to please a pressuring peer. Other times she thought that if she could only conceive for him then he would make an honest woman out of her, but this has not always ended well.
No matter how she has come into it, the most amazing thing about a mother is that she keeps the inconvenient child despite internal and external criticism and manages to raise a strong character while at it. Just think of all the significant human beings that ever walked the earth, it was never their beginning that was significant but rather their end which could only come to pass by their having been afforded life in the first place.
To the hopefuls
There are many of us who have desired to be mothers but for reasons beyond personal capacity this gift has not been bestowed upon us. It is not our place to question this but only to thank God that motherhood is not legitimised by child birth but by a mother’s ability to carry a seed and bring it to fruition through themselves in whichever way they can do so. God is so great that his use of the vessel known as mother is not limited to our human definition.
The essence of motherhood allows even a stranger of no relation to play a significant role in the transition of either boy or girl to the level of growth and health that allows them to be moved forward on their individual paths. We would all like to hold a child made in our biology but imagine the infinite possibilities of a dream carried in the womb of our minds, nurtured and secured by our passion and life’s work.
A dream that causes us to expand in scope and thinking as the months of germination cumulate. A dream that inspires others as they see us waddle to the scale of reflection to weigh our successes and learning curves. A dream that bursts like the flood of amnion when it is ready to announce the turbulent yet blissful near arrival of that special bundle of joy. God is so great that none is left out. If you choose Him your life will never lack in purpose, there is value with your name on it and as long as you are willing He will make you able.
