It took total honesty, not the kind where you figure out all the right words and neatly package it with a cute box and a bow. It took the real deal, a realness uncut type of honesty to come to grips with my problem. In that moment I knew I was in a fix and needed help navigating out of it. If I had ever taken drugs, this would’ve been the purest form and one that would satisfy my fiend with every word spoken. I was officially addicted to validation from people.
If you’re like me you’d understand how easy it is to grow accustomed and addicted to the praises and adoration of people. For me I grew up in a home where some acknowledgement was primarily in comparison to other kids and their performance. It was first the words like “why can’t you be like so and so…” to “children at other people’s home behave better in…” Living in such an atmosphere automatically binds you into an approval mindset to the point where every decision you make ceases to be based on the very reason you were created. You become a great doer only if you believe some sort of validation will ensue. The only problem with that is when the season comes where God wants you to go against the status quo you begin to second guess whether God is speaking to you at all. That has been a major pain point in my life and one I’m determined to seek Christ’s answer for my healing.
I didn’t realize it until recently that the people I hold in high esteem are not the standard to live by, nor are they the ones that validate me. My addiction to their thoughts and approval is what hinders me from the most important source of rehab you and I can get. The reality is that we really do have a reason for being on this earth and the direction of that journey is dependent on who we focus on for validation. If you want to live free seek Christ’s direction.
Why am I sharing this with you, well I’ve come to the realization that part of my purpose on this earth is to transparently share my life experiences to show that I’m no better than anyone but simply a person who’s loved by God not by what I do but by His grace and the same applies for you. We are in different lanes but headed to the same destination.
Don’t seek the validation of a Christian (yes I said it), seek the direction of Christ. If I find myself so caught up in what other Christians think and yet my focus should be on Jesus Christ’s I mustn’t be surprised when I lose sight of the direction and mandate I’ve been made for. I feel so good when I’m validated by people but when that high is over the emptiness returns. That’s not what I was made for. That’s not what you were made for. Approval from man will always leave us seeking to meet their expectations versus LIVING free, of which you and I will always disappoint the lofty expectations of an imperfect human being. Christ died so we might be free, so you and I can live. Enough of this validation addiction, hello to you Christ. Show me the way I should go.
