We often talk about the pain of failed relationships, especially when it comes to girlfriends and boyfriends or even a husbands and wives.
But we don’t often talk about failed friendships. As a result some people don’t actually know how to navigate that kind of loss.
What do you do when friends you thought you would have forever walk out of your life?
What do you do when friends betray you and turn out not to be who you thought they were?
What do you do when you lose friends?
Well, one of the first things to keep in mind is that there is a time for everything. Even a time to lose.
There Is A Time To Lose
In the book of Ecclesiastes, King Solomon tells us that “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, ESV)
There is “a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing” (verse 5) and there is “a time to gain, and a time to lose”. (verse 6) This is true even of friendships.
Some people are not meant to walk your whole life journey with you and sometimes the way you realise this won’t always be by them amicably saying goodbye. Sometimes it will be through unpleasant situations. Perhaps they speak negatively about you or betray you.
Whatever the scenario, when they have shown you who they really are, it’s a clear indication that it’s time to refrain from embracing them and let them go.
However, sometimes fear can keep you from doing this as you wonder what waits on the other side of letting go.
Do want to know what waits on the other side?
Jesus.
Jesus Is Close
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24 (ESV)
After giving so much of your time and sharing so much of your life with friends, it can be quite scary considering what will happen once you lose them. If so much of your identity was rooted in who you were with them, you can start to wonder who you will be without them.
Who will you hang out with? What will you do?
At such times it is so important to remember the other Friend who still remains with you, Jesus. He is the true Friend who sticks closer than a brother. The only One who will always be with you. (Matthew 28:20)
He waits on the other side when you lose your friends. He waits, ready to give you His company and heal your heart. All you have to do is turn to Him.
Turn to Jesus
The Lord is near to those who have a brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18 (ESV)
The Word of God tells us that the Lord is near to the broken hearted. Just like any kind of loss, losing friends can break your heart. It hurts to lose. And Jesus understands that.
He does not expect you to just shrug off your pain or laugh in the face of it. He understands your sorrow and He is acquainted with your grief. (Isaiah 53:3-4) That is why He stays close when your heart is broken and your spirit is crushed. He desires to offer you comfort.
But to receive His comfort you have to turn to Him. Turn to His Word and hear what He has to say to you through the Scriptures. Turn to songs about Him that speak into your situation and praise Him for never leaving you. Turn to Him through prayer and pour out your heart before Him.
Allow Him to bind up your wounds and fill you with His peace that surpasses all understanding. (Philippians 4:6-7) Allow Him to become your closest friend, always knowing that He will never leave you alone.
You Are Never Alone
Behold the hour is coming, indeed it has come, when you will be scattered each to his own home, and will leave me alone. Yet I am not alone, for the Father is with me.
John 16:32 (ESV)
Jesus knows what it’s like to be betrayed because His friend Judas Iscariot betrayed Him. (Matthew 26:47-50)
Jesus knows what it’s like to lose friends because on the night of His crucifixion, all his friends abandoned him. (Mark 14:50)
Yet, at the point of betrayal and loss He declared that He was not alone. Why? Because God the Father was with Him.
The same is true of all of us. When you lose loved ones, although you may appear alone, you are never alone. For God, is with you and if He is for you, who can be against you.
So as you walk through the loss of close friends, for whatever reason it may be, remember that God is with you. He sees you, He knows you and He loves you.
Reach out to Him and let Him fill the void left by those who left you and let Him heal your hurting heart. In Jesus name, we pray. Amen.
