There are some miserable people who are ready to do or take anything for a moment’s peace. We meet them in daily interactions and some of them make up our dating pool. These are the people who sometimes cause the worst dating experiences at no fault of their own. It takes an emotionally healthy person to relate well and enjoy a good quality of life.
A better way to relationship readiness
There’s a huge difference between dating an emotionally OK person vs an emotionally not OK person. It’s like trying to bake a cake with a bread recipe, the cake never comes out the way it should. The baking experience also becomes unnecessarily burdensome.
The thing about emotional health is that not a lot of people consider it before entering dating relationships. A lot more don’t even realise this is the root of hectic problems and end up discouraged from relating at all. It would make all the difference if we each took responsibility for our emotional well-being. It’s not an easy thing to do but perhaps the straight and narrow route to authentic connections.
How to tell if you’re due for emotional maintenance
We scrape up a good portion of muck as we go along and this is just how life works. Muck is the residue of living; it can be in the form of things gone right or things gone wrong. In a good season muck can be becoming complacent and in a bad season muck can be doubting God’s provision. No one is immune, the sun rises and sets on us all, as do the experiences that come with it.
We are just meant to manage our muck through regular emotional maintenance. Those who manage make a conscious effort which requires commitment. There’s no miracle menu to scroll down and pick your fix.
The time-out is for our emotional health which is largely responsible for our quality of life regardless of outward circumstances. So yes, your life depends on it.
Here are a few things, (not all of them) to look out for to see if it’s time to pop your emotional hood.
- You’ve summarised the woes of your life to an elevator pitch shared in every conversation with you. This makes it a mood killer being around you as there’s enough gloom and doom around without your fan page.
- You’re plagued by anxiety that some impending disaster is waiting around the corner to prove you’re cursed. This is from an unhealthy perception of negative experiences. I suspect its aggravated by moving on before actually dealing with what happened.
- You are highly suspicious of people and make them jump through hoops before pretending you trust them. This explains the times we do all we can to prove our love to someone and they still have an accusation for innocent occurrences.
Moving forward
Lately I’m all about personal okay-ness because unlike the fluctuating economic stability it’s something you can attain. It will take time and a lot of patience but the cost is so worth the benefit.
The first step in moving forward is stopping right where you are. Don’t try to recalculate the route or auto correct. If there’s ever been a time you need to be still and know that He is God this is the time. Your route will be re-revealed when you are ready to get back on the road, for now your focus is to become mobile again. That way you cover better ground when you re-engage.
