Dear God;

A guy came before you.
I almost traded your lovingkindness for his ego that was too big for the room he seemed always too close.
He had me under the shadow of his insecurities.
Even my light could not pierce through the darkness that surrounded him like a protective hedge.
He held me down,
the way the early morning rains pin down the night on a city.

His tongue refused to give in to the weight of lies and death that rolled off it,
Dripping into my soul.
Each time he tried to get a hold of my heart, he seared his hands.
In the end , he stopped trying,
I stopped crying
I stopped loving.

I decided then,
I wouldn’t love men.
Not waste my love like the many words the devil has failed to convince me you’re cruel with.

So
When my then pastor
(whose services I enjoyed because of the loud music),
began painting a picture of you as an alpha male
I was confused,
How do I love You?
A man.

I was reminded of the last man I had loved.
His memory almost erased Your place.
I almost packed You away in the small box that contained all the masculine rejects in my heart.
You broke it down.
You tore down the veil.
And removed the scales from my eyes.

I saw You,
I recognized You in the way the sun allowed mists of clouds to hug it at dusk.
As if fireballs and water are friends.
I felt you when a total stranger gathered my weaknesses and patterned them into a beautiful patchwork.
I heard you,
I still hear you in every I love you that I hold dear until it is etched deep within.
Letters dancing each time you sing over me,
Refusing to let me forget that You’re everything in everything over everything.

By Vimbai Lole

Vimbai Lole is a young lady who has given up trying to understand God, given up trying to starve herself in the name of dieting, given up trying to change the world, given up trying to be an all rounder artist and given up trying to be awesome and cool. Instead, she is learning to love God with an uncompromising passion, to be healthy, to love people and to be happy .She has resolved to appreciating the art in others and hopes to live happily ever after.